10 Things
by HeadinTheClouds13
Summary: A collection of different 10 things about each or all of our beloved Dead Poets.
1. Charlie

**Disclaimer: Don't own, yadda, yadda, yadda...**

**10 Things Charlie Dalton Is Not Allowed To Do **_**Ever**_** Again.**

**1.**Spray painting 'Nuwanda is King' in day-glo orange on the walls of the cave.

**2.**Spiking the Kool Aid with Ecstasy, also forcing Cameron to drink Kool Aid against his will.

**3. HAVING SEX IN THE CAVE! **

**4.** Also playing 'Backgammon'.

**5. **Wearing Capes to meetings and declaring you are 'Count Rockula'.

**6.**Making and handing out business cards that say "Charlie Dalton: Captain of The Innuendo Squad"

**7.**Spending an entire day talking like a circus ringmaster.

**8.**Referring to Meeks as your sex slave in an oral report.

**9.** 'Avanging' a Prince from Finland by climbing on top of the tower and shouting in Finnish.

**10. **Doing anything that involves one of the following: Chocolate body paint, explosives, fishnets, large amounts of mayonnaise, or The Welsh National Guard.

**Authors Note...OF DOOOOOOOM!:**This is what crawls out of the depths of my mind during Geography.


	2. Pitts

**Disclaimer: Don't own, and completely inspired by 'The Astonishing Adventures of Fanboy and Gothgirl' by Barry Lyra so don't sue!**

**For my lovely (fiance...sorta) Rhyme or Reason because she updated and none of the rest of you chumps have!**

**10 Things Gerard Pitts Wants More Than Anything Else In the World.**

**1. **His own talk show, preferably a popular one.

**2. **Front row tickets for 'The Rocky Horror Show on Ice', if that even exists.

**3. **World peace...or to lose his virginity. He hasn't decided yet.

**4.** His blue elephant stuffy he lost on the beach when he was four, and sometimes has dreams about and wakes up crying.

**5.**A TIME-MACHINE!

**6.** To be mistaken for someone famous...BUT NOT MICHEAL FREAKING PHELPS!

**7.** For Cloudy to stop harassing him and saying he looks like Micheal Phelps.

**8. **A cake shaped like his face. That would be SO cool.

**9. **ABag of ONLY green M&M's.

**10.** There are 10 things in this world Gerard Pitts want more than anything else. He'll tell you the first nine but he'll never tell you the last one.

**A.N. VOILA! Part 2 of...I dunno how many I'm going to do yet. They're not all going to be on the same thing but I might do some of the same ones for different people, it all depends. Hope you liked it, and slices of Metaphorical Pitts-face shaped cake for those who review.**

**-C**

**P.s. Number 10 is so 'Cloudy'. **


	3. Todd

**Disclaimer: Don't own, yadda, yadda, yadda....**

**10 Things You Might Find Under Todd Anderson's Bed:**

**1.**A life sized clay model of a hand.

**2.** Half a poem translated into Arabic.

**3. **One of Neil's Converse's which he was holding hostage.

**4.** A surprisingly large amount of rubber ducks.

**5. **Pencils he's 'borrowed' from Neil and has 'forgotten' to give back.

**6.**Half the pieces from a game of Jenga, still standing.

**7.** A mostly full box of Cherry Flavoured condoms _(he denied this when asked)_.

**8.** The gravel from a fish tank.

**9.**Two whole un-opened boxes of 'Oreo's'.

**10. **What sort of looked like a piece of Neil's hair. _(This was also denied)_

**Authors Note....OF DOOOOOOOM!:** All based on things I have found under my own bed or the bed's of people I know. Okay, review time....go. Now.


	4. Meeks

**Disclaimer: DO. NOT. OWN. Also I'm sorta kinda stealing this idea from who ever came up with it first because it's been done for like EVERY fandom. EVER.**

**Top Ten Things Steven Meeks Hates:**

**10. Ramen Noddles:** They taste like dog food, and not even good quality dog food. The type of dog food you fell BAD about giving to your dog.

**9.** **When-you-try-and-take-off-woolen-mittens-with-your-teeth-and-their-all-wet-and-it-scrapes-all-up-against-your-teeth-and-you-get-that-shivery-feeling: **Hate that.

**8.** **"The hoi pollio":**It's just hoi pollio. If you say the hoi pollio your saying the the herd, get it right.

**7. ****Donald Duck:** That guy needs to get some pants.

**6. The Wizard Of Oz: **That Dorothy chick was a bitch, I mean I don't blame the Witch for wantign to kill her. I'd be pretty angry if someone killed my sister and then took her shoes. Who does that?

**5.** **Charles Oswald Dalton III: **I think this is pretty much self explanatory.

**4. The Number 9: **If you say it slow. Niiiiiiine.

**3. Pitts' snoring: **It's loud. And not just a regular in and out type thing more like if you put a cat in a blender and ran a power drill simultaneously.

**2.** **Connect-the-Dots: **Completely pointless things.

**1.** **The Fact That I Seem Unclear About The Spelling Of My Own Name: **Because it's Steven, not Stephen, but for some reason I spelt it Stephen on the confession. Maybe it was some sort of trick, to say that Stephen confessed but I didn't. Sure why not.

**A.N. Tada! Two updates in one night, aren't I great? yes I think I am.**

**REVIEW! NOW!**

**...please?**


	5. Knox

**Disclaimer: DO. NOT. OWN. Also I'm sorta kinda stealing this idea from who ever came up with it first because it's been done for like EVERY fandom. EVER.**

**Top 10 Reasons To Love Knox Overstreet:**

**10. **He's a _really_ hot drunk.

**9.** Toast stealing skillls.

**8.** His name. I mean Knox Overstreet, _that's_ a name.

**7. ** He can wear a completely stuffy suit to a high school party and still be the coolest person in the room.

**6. **His epic falling-over-for-no-apperent-reason part in the soccer scene.

**5.** After everything he _actually_ gets the girl.

**4. **Two words: Scarf flipping

**3. **His ability to get a nose bleed while doing almost anything.

**2.** He's not a quitter. He gets beat up by Chet Danbury and _still_ thinks he has a chance.

**1. **He looks like _Mutt Sanders_! Mutt _freaking_ Sanders!

**A.N. Dear LORD I love Knox. #8 inspired by Haykatsi's English teacher.**

**-C**

**Review Please with Sprinkles on Top**


	6. Deadpoetitis

**Disclaimer: Don't own. Thank god for fanfiction. **

**WARNING!: **A Highly contagious and possibly life threatening strand of Deadpoetistis has been confirmed in your area. Keep away from all books of poetry, radios, red paint, and desk-sets to help limit your chances of catching the infection.

**Be On The Lookout For Any and All of These 10 Symptoms;**

1. Muttering 'Travesty, Horror, Decadence, Excrement.' when authoritative figures are out of ear shot.

2. The replacement of adjectives and adverbs with the term 'YAWP'. (i.e. "That hair cut is rather [YAWP]tastic.")

3. Odd and alarming feelings of innfactuation for the saxaphone and/or feelings of dislike towards the clarinet.

4. Bouts of hysterical giggling over breaking rules or disobeying figures of authority.

5. A strange and unexpected burst of poetical genius. Often refuring (though not limited to) to 'madmen' or 'blankets'.

6. The wearing of door wreaths as crowns.

7. The need to 'find a new view' often closely followed by the standing on a desk.

8. Being found chanting/yelling/reciting poetry OR works of Shakespeare, particularly 'A Midsummer Nights Dream'

9. Taking pleasure in the throwing of birthday presents from high places such as balaconies, roofs, ledges, and out of windows.

10. A sudden and uncontrollable urge to 'seize the day'.

**If you or anyone you know are experiencing any of these symptoms get medical assistance as soon as possible. Remember only **_**You**_**can help stop the spread of Deadpoetitis. **

**A.N. Twas bored on a rainy Sunday night, this is what happens.**


	7. Cameron

**Disclaimer: DO. NOT. OWN. Also I'm sorta kinda stealing this idea from who ever came up with it first because it's been done for like EVERY fandom. EVER.**

**Top 10 Things That Will and/or Have **_**Never **_**Happen To Richard Cameron:**

**10. **He will get laid. Quite often actually, as he is a hot hunk of man candy.

**9.** Meeks will get a worse grade then him on a test and come to him begging for help, since he's so intellectually superior.

**8.** Once he was found snogging Knox in a cupboard. It's true.

**7. **The fangirls will join together and bake him cookies, because we know it's hard for him to be such a goody goody all the time.

**6. **Of course he'd risk his neck to do something nice for someone else. More than once, I'm sure.

**5.** Charlie and him will shake hands and leave their differences aside. Because it's what Neil would've wanted.

**4. **His poem for Keating's class brought tears of joy and sorrow to everyone's eyes and he was praised the next great poet.

**3. **It was his idea to do the 'Phone Call From God' and he thought the hilarity was definitely worth the punishment

**2.** For once Cameron will decide it's better to follow his heart and stand on his desk with the others to salute the Captain.

**1. **One day he'll wake up and realize he has been a boot-licking jerk and will apologize to everyone, join hands, and skip off into the sunset.

**A.N. Okay, so my NEW goal is to finish this by my birthday, because I only have one more chapter for 'How To' s goal and I need like...3 more of these to finish. Yay! **

**-C**


	8. Neil

**Disclaimer: DO. NOT. OWN. Also I'm sorta kinda stealing this idea from who ever came up with it first because it's been done for like EVERY fandom. EVER.**

**Nine Rumors about Neil Perry and the One No One Believed:**

**10. **He had to go to summer school for chemistry because him and Knox accidentally blew up one of the labs and killed Mr. Jenkins cat Snuggles.

**9.**Him and that Dalton kid ran a candy smuggling ring way back in first year and they still have stuff stashed in the ceiling of the Latin room.

**8.** His middle name is Oswald.

**7. **In second year he saved Dr. Hagar's dog from drowning in the lake _and_ from a burning building.

**6. **A bunch of photos of him got passed around and are now hanging up in dorms of half the girls at Henley Hall

**5.**In third year he got caught trying to free frogs from dissection with that Pitts guy, you know, the tall one.

**4. **Mr. Nolan invites him to his private yacht every year during spring break. He never goes.

**3. **He's on a first name basis with the President.

**2.** The Perry's are really a long line of a) Ninjas, b) CIA Agents, or c) Aliens.

**1. **Him and Todd Anderson are hooked up....pssssh, as if.

**A.N. Hahaha, looks like I didn't get this done by my birthday, oh well. **

**-C**


	9. Plot Holes

****

Disclaimer: DO. NOT. OWN. Also I'm sorta kinda stealing this idea from who ever came up with it first because it's been done for like EVERY fandom. EVER.

* * *

****

**WARNING! Plot Holes have been detected in your fandom. These dangerous story shortcomings kill hundreds if not five characters each year. Be alert. Use caution. Know the signs.**

**Ten Signs of Plot Holes: **

**10. **Mr. Perry going against everything he stands for suddenly has a new found understanding of his son and his interests.

**9.** Charlie has inexplicably stopped smoking, swearing, and sleeping around. Approach with extreme caution if he is magically 4 inches taller.

**8.** Upon any investigation Cameron is excused as studying, being sick, or having been reduced to a smoldering pile of ash.

**7. **Things that haven't been invented yet start magically popping into existence. Nobody seems baffled by this sudden influx of Star Trek, Oreos, and The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

**6. **Turns out Neil, Todd, Charlie, and Knox all have twins/sisters/cousins that we've never heard of before, in fact the out poets haven't even heard of them, including their supposed kin. No one thinks to ask for a blood test or anything.

**5.**Neil's a ghost. And instead of calling up Ghostbusters everyone seems content to chat with him like this isn't anymore out of the ordinary than a substitute teacher. As in 'Oh hey look, Neil's a ghost. So what'd you get for #4?'

**4. **The Dalton's flashing some cash and Charlie reappearing at Welton faster than you can say quidditch. Because nothing says Tradition, Honor, Discipline, and Excellence like a bribe does.

**3. **When the poets start spewing out their 'own verse' which is actually written by Thoreau/Whitman/Emerson/Shakespeare. Despite being in a poetry club nobody seems to notice.

**2.** Allow girls in. Sure, it may go against everything the school stands for, be unnecessary and implausible but apparently none of that matters anymore.

**1. **Comformistly-Non-Conformist girls who love poetry, are smart, open minded, and every once in a while pretending to be boys start multiplying like rabbits. Neil and or Knox and or Charlie and or Todd fall ridiculously head over heels and Pitts and or Meeks and or Cameron get shoved into a sad little corner even though they were here first.

**If you encounter any of these dangerous situations back away slowly and contact the appropriate authorities to report your sighting.**

**Remember only YOU can stop Plot Holes. ****A.N. I may be guilty of a few of these...but hopefully not too many. And certainly not the big 3. **

* * *

**-C**


	10. Keating

**Disclaimer: DO. NOT. OWN. Also I'm sorta kinda stealing this idea from who ever came up with it first because it's been done for like EVERY fandom. EVER.**

**Ten Things John Keating Secretly Cannot Do: **

**10. **Touch his toes without bending his knees. Despite making all the boys do this as a stretch before soccer and having rather stubby little legs.

**9.** Spell the word 'Professor', which is the main reason he has never taught at a college.

**8.**Take a reasonable amount of mashed potatoes. Seriously, is he going to make some sort of sculpture or something? That's the only logical explanation to the staggering amounts of starch.

**7. **A half-decent fake British accent. That's the main reason he didn't do Shakespeare like that.

**6. **Start a fire. Well, at least not on purpose.

**5.**Tell the difference between when to use who and when to use whom. Sure he can give his English class a textbook explanation but he have no idea in practice.

**4. **Rub his tummy and pat his head at the same time. Though, I'm not sure why this is a secret.

**3. **Remember that blond kid's name, was it Sam? Or maybe Skippy?

**2.** Tie a tie, that's why he wears them all 'casual' because he needs to be able to slip them on over and over again.

**1. **Play soccer. In fact he's not even sure of the rules other than getting the ball in the net is good.

**A.N. FINISHED! FINALLY! Much thanks to everyone who's stuck around for what was initially a way to entertain myself in a particularly brain-numbing assembly.**

**-C**


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